FINGER LICKIN’ GOOD

I was feeding my fifteen month old grand daughter the other day when I realized I was actually using my fingers to mix her rice, dal (lentils) and veggies to feed her. Since it is my habit to wash hands before coming to the dinner table, I was happy that I had remembered to do that. I think I started using my fingers, when she tossed her spoon on the plastic floor covering to hear the bang it made. Babies love to do that much to the annoyance of parents, and amusement of grandparents.
But then it seemed so natural to use my fingers to feed her as she just kept popping open her tiny mouth for me to put the little balls of food in. She herself loves to scoop up food with her hand and toss it into her mouth, even if there is a baby spoon provided. Sometimes later when we insist on the use of the spoon she will pick it up and try to feed herself. But when she is very hungry she completely ignores the spoon. Her natural instinct is to use her hands.
The spoon use seems like an evolutionary development and we never force its use. In many parts of the world fingers are still considered the best implements for getting food into the mouth. Each culture that regards this method as the most natural has developed its own etiquettes that accompany this sort of dining.
On the Indian subcontinent where I spend a lot of time, the majority of the population that resides in the villages, eat their meals with fingers. Tools such as spoons, forks and knives, the cutlery of the urbanites are mostly not known. In some northern regions, spoons are used for liquid foods, like soups and dals. In the south even for liquid sambaar that accompanies most dishes like idli (steamed rice cakes), dosai (pancakes made from rice flour) or even plain rice, a spoon is hardly necessary as the liquid sambaar is soaked up in these rice dishes. But the rules for eating with the fingers are just as strict like rules for not using fingers.
When using the fingers for carrying food to the mouth, only fingers of the right hand are to be used. The left hand is NEVER used for eating. There is a good reason for this, but is not subject for this article. One may serve oneself for seconds by using a serving spoon with the left hand. Food should not touch the hands, as the fingers scoop up bits to put into the mouth. In some families, licking the fingers is a signal to the host that the meal was really enjoyed.
Another taboo is food that has been eaten from or contaminated by saliva is never shared with another. In the north this is referred to as “juthaa” and in the south as “eschil”. This is probably a good health habit. I remember my horror when I was offered a bitten-into apple by a friend when I first arrived to live in the US. Not wanting to hurt feelings, I carefully bit the other un-eaten side. But like all rules, this one has an exception. Sometimes one may notice two persons sharing the same plate or thaali (a steel round plate) that is normally used in Indian homes. This would either be a husband and wife or very close friends. Sometimes a mother-in-law the matriarch of the extended family would invite her daughter-in-law to share her plate, to show acceptance or to make up after some disagreement.
In the yoga tradition this sort of subliminal sharing is not encouraged. This is considered as sharing of sanskaars “impressions on the psyche”. This custom is considered to be interfering with the fulfillment of one’s own karmic acts. It is true we are born within certain families to achieve our destinies linked with the relationships within that family. There are many things shared already within those experiences. The whole aim of being born is to purify as much as possible our human tainted qualities and realize our divine nature. So the less we pile up unnecessary sanskaars, the quicker we get there. Hence the less the sanskaars are intertwined the less external inputs influence the psyche.
It is important to create the kind of atmosphere at home that encourages the child to develop within the parameters of the philosophy of that particular family. Outside the home it is difficult to know what impressions the young is receiving, in the neighborhood, in schools, from friends, from the environment. So whatever we can do at home to steer the child into the “right” sanskaars is very important.
Etiquettes of living at home include the training and behavior in all aspects of life. Rules of dining are naturally part of these. Family dining together at least once a day is an excellent way for these habits to be practiced whether it is the correct way to use the fingers to break chapattis, which is the correct salad fork, or how to use chopsticks gracefully. I know a guy who was trained in boarding school in England, married a girl who was trained both in America and in India. It is wonderful to see their children at home in all these continents with the flexible ability and ease to use fingers for dosais (rice pancakes) knives and forks for English meals and even chopsticks for noodles.

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Here’s a recipe for chapattis:

Ingredients: One cup chapatti flour or whole wheat flour, some warm water. Mix these into a soft dough (like bread dough) and leave to rise for about an hour.

Method: Roll out into flat rounds somewhat like tortillas and cook on a griddle or hot pan. Flip over when little bubbles start to appear and cook other side. Stack them in a clean kitchen towel, after rubbing some butter or olive oil on them to keep them soft.
These may be eaten like tortillas with cheese, or with curried veggies. Enjoy!

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